Twice a year I perform a magic trick and disappear from the world as we know it. Over seven years of practice, I have perfected this trick over time and have it down to a science, or is it a religion, whatever, it is something else. In the months of October and November and then again from the end of January to the end of March I tend to disappear from the face of the earth! Just ask my friends and family they will tell you that when I reappear again in December, just in time for the holidays, and then again in April, they are happy to know that I am still alive, a comment I have heard quite often over many years now. Ladies and gentlemen, come one, come all because not only do I disappear but sometimes I will become someone else right before your eyes instantly as well! I perform this trick so well that sometimes I do not even recognize myself. However, I am not the only talented person who is able to perform this magic trick. No, there are many around me who have learned, some perfected as I, this art form. I am sure you are wondering what it is by now. Have I whetted your appetite enough?
It is a beast of a thing that, when it comes around, wreaks havoc on those within it's reach bringing about such anxiety, such stress, and, for some, such panic that it can leave a path of professional and, again for some, personal destruction. This thing, this beast is called headcount and for people in special education it comes twice a year, 12/1 and 4/1. It is for this reason that my stress levels sky rocket and my personal life can become sucked up into this beast not to be seen again for months. If you ever want to see adults scramble like eggs in a pan or on a griddle come to where I work during these times in the year.
The magic trick I referred to earlier is also known as survival mode and it is worse from January to April because we are well into the school year by that point with our plates already full beginning to topple over or the plates we are balancing on sticks begin to slow their rotation and wobble because there are so many going that it is nearly impossible to keep them all spinning. My colleagues joke, well it's more like a "what else are you gonna do other than" kind of laugh, that their signifiant others must think they are ignoring them or they have done something wrong. They wonder why we snap, why we are so tired, why we are so touchy, and for some can change personality from one day to the next. Gosh, kinda feels like describing a really long period. My colleagues feel awful because they know they are neglecting their friends and family often during these times in order to fulfill their responsibilities at work. In addition, the pressure at times feels insurmountable because you are getting it from everyone, everywhere. For the first time this year, while empathizing with some of my colleagues, I suggest that we needed to form a support group for our significant others so they will know that they are not alone in having to deal with us during these times.
So, now that I feel I am able to remove my invisibility cloak and reappear to the world, this is my way of apologizing to my friends and family in hopes that they will understand, to not find fault in what looks like my lack of friendship and care, and to realize that I have been practicing the perfection of prestidigitation that I feel pressured to perform twice a year. All I ask is to please forgive me.
