Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving Thoughts

It's Thanksgiving! A day set aside for the gathering of family to sit 'round a table and share with one another; food, drink, memories, stories, and best of all love. I have a big extended family. My mother is the eldest of six and there have been few opportunities I have had to gather with them all over the years. Every once in a while this day falls on my brother's birthday, like today. In fact, I think the last time I was with my whole family on Thanksgiving was when my brother's b-day fell on the same day, more than 20 years ago I'm sure. Gosh, it's hard when your family lives 3 states away. Like I said it's my brother's birthday today. I bought him a card about two weeks ago because I knew that I would get busy and not have the time. Well, Piper got a hold of it. When I realized she had I was able to save it and was going to send it anyway adding with love from Piper. I went upstairs later that night and when I came back down the card was in shreds. So, a new, belated card will be sent.

Today I spend the day with my dog and chinchilla because everyone in my family lives in AL, save my brother who is in NY and paternal uncle in AZ. My best friend Mary and her family invited me up to spend the time with them but visiting dogs aren't allowed in their house, plus I knew I would have to work. My wonderful boyfriend invited me to come and spend the day with his family but I declined to his relief because, although his mother extended the invitation she, and he, didn't think that it would have been the best of introductions.
I don't mind spending the day by myself. It's not the first and might not be the last. Working for the school system and having the day before through the weekend off still makes it hard to plan and get to AL. Flying is the best but it's over an hour to Raleigh to catch the flight to AL and upon arrival it's over an hour to have me picked up in Birmingham where I would land. That would be the cheapest way. I could fly out of Greensboro but I have never found cheaper flights there. Taking the train is a 12+ hour ride, would be more expensive, but would take me from here to Tuscaloosa where the majority of my AL family live; however no dogs allowed by flight or train. Enter the cost of boarding here. The final option is to drive and that's a 9-10 hour drive. Bonus is that dogs are allowed.

To be honest I am a bit bitter, and anyone who knows me, knows this. I am bitter because I was born here, I was raised here, and then, as I feel at times, I was left here. Are there choices behind these feelings, sure. I chose to stay in what I think is the best state in the country. It's my home but my home is split. My father chose to leave because he was going to return to his hometown, which oddly enough is Greensboro, AL, to live with his mother, who ended up passing away before he retired and had the chance to move back. I can't blame him because he had the opportunity to live in a "free" house and a town where I don't know if anyone could live cheaper, which is right up his alley.  My mother chose to move back Tuscaloosa to take care of some personal things, but as I drove her down, every fiber of her body and heart didn't want to leave NC which was evidenced by the tears rolling down her face as we drove over the NC line. My brother left after he got his B.A. Degree. Now, could I chose to live in AL? Sure I could and be close to my family but #1 Who would want to if that were your choice? and #2 Would I be happy? No and no. So I chose to stay here where I am happy but sometimes, typically times like these, am a bit lonely. Again, not the first time but I am hoping it's nearing one of the last.
Despite these feelings I get around the holidays as an adult, and sometimes as a child, as this is Thanksgiving, I do have a lot to be Thankful for: That I have a family to complain about from time to time; that I still have two living parents who love me unconditionally; even though we don't have a relationship a brother who I know loves me; supportive, understanding, and fun-loving friends; a boyfriend who I am so lucky to have, the world's most loving and adorable, sometimes mischievous dog; the opportunity to have and live in a lovely townhouse where I feel comfortable and safe; a career that allows me to live in my lovely townhouse, a second job that I enjoy the majority of the time (not when I have to be there at 6:30 am on Black Friday), my overall health, and the ability to know that all of this is a blessing. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

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